Stupid vs. Faith

Being set on going to Liberty in the Spring, I have really had a hard time checking my motives. I have never stepped out in faith in such a big way, or at least that's what I hope I'm doing. I have questioned myself many times about whether or not I'm just being selfish and trying to get an experience I thought I would never get, being as I have a baby, or if I truly believe this is what God wants me to do for myself and for Mya. I have thought about many different reasons I may REALLY be doing this and here are a few:

• I want to finally be on my own & support myself and Mya
• I want to find more Christian friends that will uplift myself and Mya
• I want a Christian atmosphere for Mya to grow up in & become used to.
• I believe it will help me to grow my relationship with God
• I will get my education done faster & in turn be able to take care of myself and Mya (... and not waiting around for Mr. Right)
• I will be away from influences I have become so used to and find out who I am
• I will feel more like a mom to Mya rather than counting on other people for help all the time (granted I couldn't do it without the help that I get... so that may be the hardest part!)

...Those are probably my biggest reasons. And although, realistically, it looks like I won't be able to do it, I really do believe in the long run, I will be so glad that I did! It's going to be hard, no doubt. And I may feel a little left out when everyone else can go out and have fun... but I have faith that it's going to be so good for both of us!

Financially, its just plain dumb to even try. I honestly don't know where I will have an income from, but I need one. I will still have car payments, phone & internet bills, daycare, etc. But I am not worried. I feel peace about it, and I have no hard knots in my stomach...yet.

So, all in all, I believe I am making the right decision. But if not, my pride won't keep me from coming home :)