Dreamer

One of my favorite things to do is Dream. =) Not while I'm asleep either. I love to think about the future and have high hopes about what is next in my life. Hope gets me through my days. Hope for better days. You know those anxious feelings you get through out your life? I live for those. Like when you know you just got a text message from someone special, or when you know your going somewhere amazing this weekend. They are the best. I love having goals too. Because goals will shape what you focus on and how you spend your day. It's so hard to focus on something if you don't really know what you are trying to get to.

Not really sure why I'm jabbering about this silly stuff. Just kinda bored.

...And I love this picture. She is getting so big right before my eyes. Every time I take a picture, she looks bigger!

Christmas weekend silly "Mya moments":

- In the car on the way to church, Mya says, "I want go school and see BOYS... and girls."

-We have been trying to potty-train her lately and after lunch yesterday, she snuck away from the table and went in her room to go "No. 2" and I started calling her name to come back to the table, so she walks out of the room covering the side of her face so we couldn't see her. Precious. I wasn't happy she went potty in her pants, but I couldn't help but laugh.

We have so many fun times together. I can't even remember all that she says or does. She just has a personality all her own! I'm sure I will have more Mya moments to come!

After all, its Christmas Time.

Recap of our Christmas-

Mya playing in our snow! Although we didn't get that much, she still had a good time!

Friends sitting together after opening gifts up.

Mya showing off her Princess purse on Christmas Morning.

Just a few of the many Princess items she got!

My grown-up little girl :)

Mya taking pictures with her new camera. She actually does pretty good!

Me, Mya and our favorite Pawpaw.

Christmas 2009 has been a great one full of wonderful friends and family! We are so blessed!

Dear Life: You can slow down now :) Kthanks.

For You.

“I’ll worship at Your throne, whisper my own love song. With all my heart I’ll sing- for You, my Dad and King. I’ll live for all my days, to put a smile on Your face. And when we finally meet, it’ll be for eternity.” -Forever by Hillsong

Dear Lord,

Thank you for all that You have done for me. Despite all the times that I look past You and don’t spend time with You. I don’t treat You as good as I should and give you the glory and attention that You deserve. I’m sorry that I take for granted everything You do for me and that I don’t take note of what You have pulled me through. Thank You for loving me and caring about me, even though I don’t deserve it. Thank You for being a nice and sweet God, but at the same time strong and solid. Forgive me for not running to You and instead believing in false hopes. I haven’t found fulfillment in any of my possessions even though the world tells me that I will. I always look for more, and never realize that I just need You. Forgive me for not letting my wall down for You and allowing You to be everything to me. Forgive me for caring what people think so much that I don’t stand up for You and I don’t allow You to do Your greatest work through me. Forgive me for blaming things on You and getting upset at You when things don’t go my way. Forgive me for being SO selfish. Forgive me for judging others and letting Satan win over my temptations. I want You to be my everything. I want to want You. I want to love You and put You first. Please help me. Help me to not only love you when others do and when I feel good. Help me to love you even when things don’t make sense and when I am having a hard time. Thank You for being who You are and still loving me despite who I am. Help me to see how big You really are and to fear You because of it. In Jesus’ name.

Your daughter & bride, Ashley

Snow Day: I needed you desperately.

Today was a great day. We got some snow! Not enough to really play in (maybe 3 inches), but it was enough to use as an excuse to just stay home.

We went to my aunts house and made some cookies, fudge and haystacks! Then came home and I made more fudge! Did you know that you really aren't supposed to make fudge on a dreary day because the fudge won't get hard like it should, so needless to say... my fudge is not hard enough. Made some "Mocha Coca" - which is Coffee & Hot Chocolate mixed together. Quite good!

And also, since we were at home all day, I figured this was a good day to really try and get Mya potty trained. So all day I bugged her about going potty. She did really well! Sometime after dinner, I could tell she needed to go "No. 2" and so I put her on the potty about 3 different times and she would just sit there. She wouldn't go but whenever she got off the potty, she would try to hide somewhere, like she does when she goes potty. So, I kept her panties off and let her run around naked. Finally about an hour and half into trying, she ran to me screaming, "Mommy I need to go potty!!" and I ran to the bathroom with her and she did it!!! I was so excited!! All day we were telling her, "Mya, you go poo-poo in the potty and you will get some ice cream!" So we finished our potty training day with s a wonderful ice cream float! YAAAY!

Busy Bee!

I don't think I have written since before Thanksgiving! I've been awfully busy with getting ready for Christmas and finishing up school. Tomorrow I have two exams but after that, I'm done until January and I'm siked! Few pics of what's been going on lately...

Hanging with my girlie, Mya.

[Before church here]

[With family @ Shoneys]

Colbie Caillat Concert @ The National in Richmond

[Myself & friend, Kayla]

Fixed a new hairstyle for Mya! (looks a lot like mine)

Mya had her very 1st ride ever!

@ Busch Gardens for their Christmas Town

Went to Stony Point for their Christmas Tree Lighting

[This is at PF Changs before we saw the lights!]

And something even more exciting for me, is that I feel maybe God has laid it on my heart to start a "support group" for single/teenage moms. Not too sure yet, but I have been praying about it and hope to talk to my youth pastor & his wife soon! So we shall see!! I would love to do that! Much love, Ashley

She must be CRAZY!

Pawpaw came to me and said "You need to get Mya's head checked, she must be crazy. She is eating grapefruit like its nothing without even making a face!" She loved it! Ate a whole plateful.

Rest of Vacation & Apologies

Pics of the Day 3, 4 & 5 of our vacation adventures!

Children's Museum

Coolest thing- its my shadow against a wall.

The little grains are not real... they are just part of the shadows.

Got our nails done!

And apologies for forgetting my "Thankful Thursday" (vacation has been good, but I'm not used to not having a set schedule - hint: this isn't the only thing I have put on the back-burner this week! cough cough homework) So these are the things I am thankful for:

-VACATION DAYS! Can't believe this is already over. I would love to be a housewife and stay at home with my kiddies!

-Jesus. This week I haven't given Him the time that I normally would, but I can still feel Him tugging on my heart to seek His face. He has given me so much and even though I take my good health, wonderful family & friends, job, car, beautiful daughter and much used iPod for granted, He hasn't taken them away from me and continues to bless me. How I pray to love people like He does.

-Encouraging role models that God puts in my path & those few people that I would love to be one day!

-Night's with my Snuggie, Laptop, Comfy Couch, Mya's books and TV show "Doc." Love being at Mawmaw's house!

-Christmas time traditions and togetherness. How I wish people would always do things together and be this united all year round. Wouldn't it be so cool if we always got together and bought each other gifts just because we loved each other? Some people do. I would love that.

-Savings Accounts that save you on vacation!

-Happy days. My youth pastor said that "Happy" is only when something is "Happening" but how I love to be happy!

Vacation Day No. 2

Good day! We were going to go to "The Children's Museum" but had a change of plans. We actually went to Short Pump mall.

Then we went out with two of my bestest friends- Kayla & Brianna

Mya's furry friend named "Princess"

and yes, she picked out the clothes & bear & name.

Day No. 1 of Vacation

This week I am on "vacation" ...although my "vacation" is being spent at home. So, I am going to spend some quality time with my little Mya.

Today was sort of a get-things-done kinda day. Not very fun and too much money spent for the first day of vacation. I should've had a budget. (Next time, I will know.) We bought her 2 Christmas dresses because Mommy couldn't pick just ONE. And some clothes for Mya. And just other necessities. [Funny story: About three weeks ago, I lost my glasses, so I made an appointment to get new ones today. I was sitting in the car waiting for the doors to open to my doctor's office, and as I look down, laying right beside my driver's seat is my black studious glasses. Not to mention, I cleaned my whole car out last night and didn't even see them!]

Tomorrow will be more interesting! We are headed to "The Children's Museum" and out to dinner with two good friends of mine. Catchya later!

Update on the dieto

So,

I joined "Weight Watchers" about 2ish weeks ago. The first week, I lost 3lbs. All encouraging, although I can't really see it. Some days, I think I can, but days like Saturday and Sunday... not so much. With baby showers, recitals, church, family gatherings, etc. its hard to keep up the good work. But I'm working on it. Hopefully soon I will have a new photo that looks like an old photo from years ago! (:

Dialogue of the Day

"Mya, put the chair back under the table;

Mya, stop eating all the grapes;

Mya, put the remote down;

Mya, give me back my phone;

Mya, go play with your toys;

Mya, dont take the DVDs out of the case;

Mya, leave Mommy's make-up alone;

Mya, put the remote down again;

Mya, you need to go night night;

Mya, your driving me crazy;

Mya, again... the remote."

Despite all... we made delich brownies.

Last night, 30 minutes after laying her down to sleep,

she walks up to my bed,

"Mommy, I got a burger. I show you. In my nose."

I tell her we will pick her burgers in the morning.

"Yucky, yucky, yucky..." as she walks back to bed.

Yay! New fab idea!

So, since Thanksgiving is coming up, an tis the season... I am going to call Thursday's "Thankful Thursdays" and I am going to list a few things that I am thankful for until the end of the year. :) So for this day...

I am thankful for:

-The obvious is Jesus Christ. For taking me so filthy and ugly and loving me anyways. Even in my sin, weakness and insecurity. For always being there for me when it seems like I have no one. For blessing me beyond measure even when I don't deserve the littlest thing he has to offer.

-My job. We have such great benefits and though sometimes I have days where I could scream, overall it could be so much worse. I have great friends and a good foot in the door to my future.

-Scarfs. They are so warm and cozy while also being very cute!

-The song called "Safe and Sound" from Matthew West. For songs say what we really mean so much better than we do.

-Weight Watchers. For they make it so organized and visual to lose weight! ( I have lost 3 lbs in one week )

Stay tuned for next week's Thankful Thursday!

Goodbye Caress Glowing Touch...

Hello Winter Candy Apple!

New Scent from Bath & Body Works

One of their Holiday Fragrances.

Delicious!

Oh, the pressure.

God has really been speaking to me about where I belong. Relationships, friendships, and sometimes even family come and go. In order to find out who I am, I need to look to Him. I belong to Him. He will never leave or forsake me. No matter what I do. I don't need to define myself on who my friends are, who I know, who I hang out with or what my occupation is. It's all about Him.

This past Sunday in Sunday School, our instructor said, "We don't own the things God gives us. We manage them." So when you lose something, it shouldn't be a major crisis because it wasn't ours to begin with.

Hebrews 13:5 "...'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'

Rather Rough

So. To be completely honest... Single mommy as a teenager/student/full-timer worker is catching up to me. I think Mya has officially hit the "terrible twos." Although, I shouldn't complain because she just passed the 2 and a half mark, so we made it through half a year with no signs of this ferocious disease that takes over your sweet child.

These past few days I have been struggling a bit.

The list of my mommy blues:

-I don't want to be the mom that gets walked all over & lets their child do everything they want. But I also don't want to be the mom that doesn't give them a break. When they just keep acting up and keep pushing your nerves, how do you meet in the middle? I need more patience and time.

-I am so upset that I work night and day to make sure I am doing the best I can for her. Even though I spend my days working and I'm not necessarily with her, taking care of her, if I didn't have a baby, I wouldn't be working full time kicking my own butt. So... needless to say, I feel bitterness towards the person that helped put her here but gets to live their live like she never existed. They get to date and go out and do things that normal teenagers do. They don't have to wake up three times in the night to get Mya's juice or wonder why in the world she peed all over her sheets 2 minutes after getting off the potty or fight 20 minutes to get her to sleep. They take care of her on their terms. They can cancel Halloween plans because they "are tired." They can do pretty much whatever they want. It's not fair.

-I worry that because I have had a baby so young and had to go through so much, if its going to ruin having other kids for me. I feel like I have so much on my shoulders right now, I just can't even imagine having another kid. My desire is to have at least 4 but honestly, I don't know if I can do that. I need to learn to have more patience and to take more time with Mya first. And I feel like there are so many hinderances to me learning those things.

-Hands down, I need help. I don't think I have it in me to keep "disciplining" Mya without feeling like I am hurting our relationship. She is my best friend. And I love her so much, the last thing I want to do is hurt her.

-How do I bring her up to be a sweet, bold Christian girl who is confident and makes the right decisions if I can't say the same about myself? I need to be the perfect example for her, and I'm so far from perfect. I still have growing up to do. I still need to find out who am I. How can she look up to me if I am lacking in the areas that I want her to be great at?

I hate being negative. I love to be happy and make the best of things. But I feel really burdened and I have a heavy heart. So, I'm doing something abnormal for me and just letting it out. I can always delete if necessary, but keep me in your prayers. Greatly appreciated :)

Wanna live the perfect life

Desires for my tomorrows-

*Start or join an organization for single moms

*Home-School my kiddies

*Cook ALL the time

*Write a book and publish it

*Play piano in church

*Make a difference in someone's life

*Live in a place where God's romance is seen through nature

*Learn to sew

*Have a big family

*Do something daring

*Make up a quote that I am remembered for

*Decorate my kitchen in coral colors

*Become an inspiration

*Be set-apart and a light for others to follow

*Have a gift

*Ride a motorcycle

*Write a song

*Go to heaven

Love's a Floogie.

3 Things I love:

- Buying things that aren't necessitates but extra little spices

- Making a grump smile

- The feeling I get when I can play a whole song on my keyboard for the first time

He read my mind...

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

-Michael Buble

Pictures by Lauryn Galloway

Yesterday, me & Mya met up with my friend, Lauryn who is interesting in photography and wanted to practice on Mya. She did a really good job! Her email is gallowayle@gmail.com if you would like her to do some for you! She is doing them for free (for now) :) Enjoy!

Please Mommy...

Last night as me, Mawmaw & Mya were sitting down at the table,

eating eggs and watching TV,

Mya says "Cute little boys" out of nowhere.

She saw a couple teenage guys on a commercial, and I said

"No, Mya... you dont need to look at boys, they are bad."

And she said, "Please mommy."

Horse of a different color

This three day weekend, I have planned all sorts of little things with different people and it just made me think..."I have such different friends!" Not one is like the other. So I wanted to put a little list together of each of my good friends and how they bring certain blessings to my life!

Ashlynn Collier: The friend that I always have a good time around! She encourages me to grow closer to God just by the way she lives and the influence her family has on me! We share common difficulties and she disciplines Mya better than I do :) Love to watch her quote movies and share stories of her kids at school.

Erica Collier: The friend that always says it like it is! She has a very strong relationship with God and loves her family (&boyfriend!) An easy person to talk to and fun to hang out with! She is serious & caring at the right times and goofy & sarcastic other times. Someone I look up to as being very bold and has a lot going for her!

Casey Collier: The friend that reminds me of myself! She is a sweet companion and always makes the best out of everything. Sometimes she seems quiet, but other times she can be silly as well!

Kayla Griffin: The friend that helps me pick out the perfect outfit and always look my best! Whenever I leave from hanging out with her, I always want to shopping for new clothes! :) She keeps me updated with the latest fashions. She is a strong person who I love helping! I see a lot of potential in her and enjoy lifting her up.

Lauryn Galloway: The friend thats from the city and has so much creativity in her life! She enjoys photography and has got me started on blogging. She makes me want to stand out in a crowd and be different. We keep each other company at work and enjoy watching food shows! She doesnt care what people think and is very bold!

Erin Burr: The friend that I can just be relaxed around! She is very down-to-earth and real. She loves her family and boyfriend and doesn't take the little things in life for granted. She enjoys her company and has such a sweet personality! She is going to make a great mom and wife one day!

Katie Tingen: The friend that has known me probably the longest! She would do anything for anyone. She is so close to her family and cares about them a lot. She has a sweet heart and love for Christ. She would sit on the bus with me in elementary school and talk about God. She is so encouraging and caring :)

Jessica Niedermeier: The friend that I could go to for anything! I trust her wholeheartedly and know that I can tell her anything. I look up to her so much and her relationship with God. She has a sweet spirit and I enjoy her stories! She is such a good role model and I love her company!

Brianna Lawrence: The friend that can be so goofy but can also be serious. She knows how to have a good time, but she can also slow down and have a deep conversation. She is very wise and has a good head on her shoulders! She knows right from wrong and has so much going for her! I love helping her out!

Halloween!

So, Mya's Great Grandma bought her a

Cinderella Costume today for Halloween!

Pawpaw's Birthday

Mya's Favorite Person is her Pawpaw.

She is his shadow.

And this is his birthday.

Oh, the faces he teaches her!

This is called the "Monkey Face"

You make me smile :)

We have mini dress up parties.

New favorite store!

Anthropologie is adorable! I love their home stuff.

Measuring Spoons

Salt & Pepper Shakers

Measuring Cups

Pot Holders




Now I just have to find a man with a lot of money to afford that! =)