Updates!

Just a few pin-points about what's going on in this girl's hectic life!

-Mya is potty trained!! Almost through the whole night, but not quite yet.

-Been going to the gym a lot lately... ran 4 miles yesterday morning! I feel awesome and I have lost 2 pounds, which doesn't sound like much, but I think I am developing a healthy hobby!

-School... yuck.

-Work, work, work!

-Lots of church activities- working on Newsletter and helping out with a new young adult bible study. So glad God sees me worthy of being used!! I hope & pray more is to come :)

-Spent time outside with my favorite little girl, Mya. Love this warmer weather!

-Planning summer vacations - Myrtle Beach for a few days & Youth Camp!

-Enjoying the simple things in life; like riding with the windows down :) [Mya loves this! She tries to hold her arm out the window, but her hand barely reaches the outside]

I am so glad that I have so many wonderful people in my life! I couldn't ask for a better church, job, family, daughter or caring friends. I have so much to be thankful for!

Why me? And why different?

I have a few newly married friends, and today one of them was talking to me about how she is so ready to have a baby and she wants to start trying! Well, of course I am SO happy for her... but this cloud of jealousy came over me. I know its wrong to be this way and I have since asked God to forgive me... She is one of my favorite people and I would do anything for her, so its not a jealousy over her, but more over the order her life is in. It's in the right order. And mine, well, is not. I feel so stupid for getting upset because not only is it completely selfish but it's just my little "pity-party" which I don't think God likes either. But sometimes when I drive past colleges with people my age walking along together to their next class seeming to have no worries but their grades, or when I see pictures on Facebook of girls going off to the beach with their friends or how they can just make plans and do whatever they want... I sometimes have a hard time picking myself up. Most days, I can handle being different. I try to keep it positive, but I sure do have my bad days. Today was one of them. I think I cried the whole way home just to find myself in the same situation I have been for over 2 years. A situation of work, school, come home, clean room, maybe eat dinner, pay as much attention to Mya as I can, and stick my nose in Facebook to get away from the reality of my life. Hope is what gets me through the day. Hope for a better future and for a change. It hasn't happened yet, but I'm praying for an open door soon. Today I feel very weak and tired, and I think it's life telling me that my routine is wearing me out.

Pondering.

What draws an amazing, Christian guy to a girl?

What if she has baggage, and regrets her past?

Does he see the new her or does the old stuff still stick around and cause doubts?

Does God want to draw girls closer to Him before they meet their "one,"

or does He draw her closer to Him through the "one"?

Can and will God change a heart to see who a girl is in His eyes?

How does a girl come so close to God that it doesn't matter if she is single forever?

How does she get so close to God that her "one" has to go through God to get to her?

Why is it that girls tend to chase guys trying to give him her heart when in reality, guys should be trying to win it over?

Why can friends beat into her head that she deserves the best but she is willing to settle?

Why does she hold on to someone for so long even when he doesn't call?

How do girls get to the place where they don't even think about their "one"?

Why does the simplest "sweet talk" make our heart fall to the ground?